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Category Archives: remembrance

Look at this picture. To take it, we had to get up at 4am and drive the 35 miles to the trail head of the Zion Canyon overlook so that we could get a parking space and hike up the 1.5 miles before everyone else took up all the choice spots along the edge. There were no stars. It was cold and overcast. We were the first in the parking lot, the first on the trail, and the first to the canyon overview. The clouds filled the sky. No one else bothered, realizing that there would be no blue sky this morning.

Zion Canyon Overview

Zion Canyon Overview

And then, on the horizon, a break in the clouds allowed this beautiful sunrise with a stormy back drop. The light show lasted 10 minutes. Then it was gone, having shown for only the two of us. Life is being there hoping…

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Yes.  Hitchhiker’s Guide.  When it’s time to say goodbye, sometimes there isn’t much to say.

I spent 4 years working hard and learning much.  I guess that is when I’m happiest, when I’m in learning mode.  But even with great technology, sometimes the market is just not right and it is taking just a bit too much time.  That means something has got to be done.  So, before that something, I decided to leave for greener pastures.

With the new job in the pocket, I had to say goodbye to the old.  It was tough.  People make the difference in the workplace.  These are good people.  But after a final yoga class and sandwiches.. no, no goodbye lunch for me, I shook some hands and left.  It was like a weight was lifted.  Funny how you don’t realize how the fishbowl looks from inside the fishbowl.

The next day was the next job.  Good job.  A place to learn lots of new things.  A solid company.  A new start.  But as I sit here at home after my first full week, I can’t help but think about how chance lines things up.  Sometimes for success.  Sometimes for failure.  If you’ve ever read “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” [a bit racy] by Milan Kundera.. six chance events that bring us to our fate…

Where ever you end up, there you are.

Sometimes there is nothing left to say, except ..

Thanks for all the fish.

 

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About ten in the morning after my return to the Altiplano, a soft knock on the gate announced the arrival of old awicha (grandmother) Juana.  When she saw I was actually there , her cataract-veiled eyes filled with tears.
“I missed you,” she wept softly.
“Oh, Awich, I told you I’d be back” I chided gently as I helped her sit down on the stones in the warming sun.  Then I prepared her customary cup of hot chocolate.
“The others don’t make it sweet enough for me like you do,” she confided in Aymara.
She loves her sweets, this little old widow in tattered clothes who gropes her way along the paths of the fields with her study stick.  I asked her if she had been able to get to Sunday market recently.
“No, I just can’t make  it,” she sighs.
I don’t think our awicha is going to be with us long.  As we sit on the step chatting, she drifts off almost into sleep. “I just don’t have any strength anymore,” she murmurs.
When she tries to stand, I put my hand under her elbow to help her. Her bones are frail and tiny. She takes her stick in hand, and, bent under the weight of the cloth bundle on her back, steps unsteadily out the gate.
“I’ll see you next Sunday if not sooner, Awich,” I call after her in Aymara.
Each time I wonder: will I?

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My fiance and I recently celebrated our engagement by heading to Napa and doing Napa things – eating good food, tasting fancy wines, and seeing the sites. We were new to the area, so we decided to take a ride on the wine train our first day there. A friend of ours had suggested it as a way of seeing the sweeping vineyards while enjoying a delicious meal and getting pointers on places to visit. So, after booking tickets, checking in, and waiting until the last minute for an upgrade, we found ourselves in the fanciest car.

This car had velvety seats, fancy table cloths, seat-to-ceiling windows, and a freshly picked orchid on the table. Wide-eyed, we looked around at the finery and vaguely made settling-in motions. I took out my camera and laid in next to my cell on the table. We put our backpack on one seat, then another, then hid it under the fancy tablecloth. We grinned as our eyes darted around the fancy interior. We didn’t even notice that there were other people on the train until the ladies sitting across the isle from us offered to take our picture. I guess we made it pretty clear that this was a special occasion for us. One of the ladies took our picture and then told us she would take another when our complementary glass of champagne came. We thanked her and went back to acting totally normal.

The waiter came with our free champagne and we took another picture in which my fiance had his eyes mostly closed. The waiter asked if we were celebrating something, so we told him we were, and he gave us each a second complementary glass. Vineyards went by outside of the large windows and the food came, each course outdoing the one before it.  About half way into the trip, we finally realized we should return the across-the-isle ladies’ favor, so I offered to take their picture. They were grateful and moved into postition. They sat close together and smiled in a complementary way that made it feel like they’d done this many times before. It only took one shot for them to take a great picture together and, impressed, I handed the camera back. I sat back down at our table and took pictures out the window.

Dessert comes as we head back, and we try to quickly savor the decadent flavors while also trying to have enough time to look around the rest of the train. The across-the-isle ladies have already left their table to explore, and after ordering some tea for when we get back, we get up to do the same. We walk the length of the train as it rocks its way back to Napa proper, sticking our heads out windows and watching the tracks appear behind the train as it leaves them behind.  When we start to recognize the view, we dash back to our car and our table to pack up before we have to leave. We find there really isn’t much to pack, so we sit and drink our tea. I notice the across-the-isle ladies are back from their train exploring adventure, so I make some small talk with them. As we pull into the station, I ask them if they’re celebrating anything.

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” they say. “After 24 years – finally!”

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1980’s

When the children from across the field were lookng at photos of my family taken from my last furlough home, Agripina was intrigued by some weird thing growing out of my sister Cecila’s head. I looked at the photo and saw what she was seeing. It was a fixture on the wall behind my sister. Once Agripina could see it as “behind” not “growing out of”, she immediately spotted it in other shots, too.

The same strange type of impression occurred with a photo of my brother-in-law who was sitting in the living room of my sister’s home. We had been gathered to celebrate my nephew’s graduation from high school. “Is that a coffin,” wondered Mario, taken aback by seeing a coffin at a happy fiesta.

I looked at the photo, and sure enough, right behind Ernie’s head was a rectangular edge, with a design of silver patina in the metallic grey color, the color that is customarily seen in coffins in the Altiplano. I could identify it in place easily: it was the shelf of the mantlepice in front of the fireplace. Knowing my sister’s house, so typical in San Francisco, it was very clear. Lacking that context, however, in the eyes of an Aymara campo child, the gilt grey box-like edge took on the shape of the end of a coffin.

A matter of cultural perspective.

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When I returned to Mocachi after a month away, the neighbor children came running over to greet me. After I unpacked my stuff, we visited in bubbles of excitement sitting in the earth-walled kitchen at the kerosene lamp lit table.

They recounted the distribution of sheep and llamas and cows from the re-structuring of the local government farming cooperative.

We got eight merinos (sheep),” Mario boasted. “So we’re going to butcher our chuskas (mongrels) and then we’ll have all merinos! We got eight cows, too,” he bragged.

No you didn’t!”

Yes, we did!” And so rolled on traditional “my father is bigger than your father” competition of children.

According to Domitilla, her family already butchered one of the alpacas. But her sister Agripina said that was a lie!
The kitchen warmed with childhood storytelling and fantasies.
Early the next morning, Julia, one of the children’s grandmothers, came into my enclosure with a bowl of quinoa dough drops and fried bread dough. She thought I’d need some breakfast since I had just gotten back last night.

Are you going to be home at noon?” she asked. “Well, I’ll bring over all you need for a nice barley soup and you can cook it up together for yourself and Marlene.

Oh, Julia, you’re a sweet heart!

It was delicious!

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